Maybe this is my "mission". My time and my way to grow.

I'm a miserable human being.

I have an even longer road ahead of me than I thought. It just keeps getting bigger every day that I realize or am confronted with more of my flaws.

And I must say it's really frustrating when I'm told that I do things that I specifically thought I didn't. I.E. That I judge people/say bad things about them- when IN MY HEAD- I ALWAYS am trying to find the silver lining about people that I find myself not enjoying- so that I will like them! So maybe my roommate that told me that is only basing that whole criticism on just me talking crap about one person (the ex- which is all just emotional reaction and thoughtless spewing and not even what I really think.)

I'm really glad that I'm not at home anymore, where I am being completely accepted and enabled. It's time for another round of self discovery and growth. I don't care if it's hard. I want to be a better person and not make others and myself unhappy anymore.

(I think you guys would understand better if you lived with me and see the way I vent and act when I come home.)

*************EDIT**************

But I also need to consider my sources. This particular roommate has ignited some annoyance from me so it's not like I've always had my best foot forward with her. So she probably even sees less goodness than normal from me.